Locations

= New Oxford (New York) =

Bowery // Bronx
 You got the Zoo (temporarily closed), the city's favorite baseball team (currently off season), and the only borough on the United States mainland (surprisingly shitty). Enjoy.'' ''

Attractions

 * Yankee's Stadium
 * Botanical Garden

Millston // Manhattan
"Maybe one day this borough will be a center for tourism and the iconic New ??? experience! But for now it's just slightly less shitty than the rest of the boroughs."

Attractions

 * Times Square

Dukes // Queens
"The home of the city's second favorite baseball team."

Attractions

 * Met's Stadium

Bennett // Brooklyn
""

Stratton Island // Staten Island
"The one with the ferry. Fuck you."

??? // JFK
"The airport you know about because that airliner got robbed here and your lying cousin said he got a handjob in the A8 terminal bathroom."

LaCurtiss // LaGuardia Airport
"Your lying cousin said he got a blowjob here. It'd probably be the most exciting event that happened at the airport, honestly."

??? // Rikers Island
"Where most of the New Oxford population ends up after a night on the town."

The Hiltons // The Hamptons
"When you want to white flight into an entirely different tax bracket."""

= New Shefford (New Jersey) =